Last Week's Freight Train
Hey [redacted],
Attached an image from one of the pages in a book I’m reading for class and writing a report on.
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| Page from Heat Wave: A Social Autopsy of Disaster in Chicago by Eric Klinenberg |
I don’t have to turn on the news to get information like this [referring to NYT article on the latest Climate Change forecast]. As a social scientist, I am confronted with matters that affects humanity on a daily basis, and I think my calling is to do something about it. Even if I am not a social scientist, natural disasters have become such a regular thing everywhere, you don’t have to look far to know what’s going on. Whether you accept the scientific explanation or consider the resulting human suffering a social problem is another story. Looking at the images of Hurricane Michael, I’m reminded of the pictures and videos my family and friends have sent me just a few weeks ago when a strong typhoon and storm swept Hong Kong. I grew up with typhoons in the summer, but no one has seen anything like this.
Whether you think (I’m caring too much) because I have a big/strong heart or not, a calling is something that finds you and not the other way around. Some people choose to ignore their calling, for better or worse. But I think to do so is to deny something fundamental about your being. Not everyone is fortunate enough to receive their calling in their lifetime, I have to work at things – the way I’ve always described it is to build and fine tune your antenna – to finally receive this call. I feel fortunate to have received this call because following this calling fills my life with purpose. Same thing with being a mom.
As to why I felt so passionate about the Kavanaugh confirmation? I’ve finally come to terms with that fact that I, too, am a survivor of sexual abuse. Doing some research on a paper last night, I came across these references:
“I’m in so much pain”: how the Kavanaugh hearings are re-traumatizing survivors
“This brings back so much pain”: why so many women saw themselves in Christine Blasey Ford’s story of sexual assault
“Who is Believed and Who is Blamed?”: teenage girls responding to Kavanaugh’s alleged assault
It’s a weird place to tell you – or anyone – this in an email. But I figured out why I’ve been so anguished by the event, why I’ve been so out of sorts, at times shaking and on the verge of tears the last couple of days. I’m better now. But I think for anyone to now think it’s okay to go back to business and pretend this is just a sensational story on the news or politics is just wrong. I’m not saying that you are.
I understand I’ve got to do whatever I need to do to get through each day. Lose my shit tomorrow because today is no day to fall apart. But I am not going to just survive like I have for the first 30 years of my life. I am just starting to heal and thrive, and that puts me in a very powerful position. Being a mom is a powerful thing. Having the knowledge that I do is a powerful thing. Heck, just the fact that I’m not black in our world today gives me power over many. Socioeconomically, I’m comfortable. And that means I have power to exercise to do something or help someone who has less. I want my daughter to grow up in a world where she won’t have to bend to the will of a culture that says if something bad happens to her, she’s just going to have to suck it up and keep it to herself, that she and her choices will be taken seriously, honored and respected no matter where she goes. This weighs heavily on my mind and in my heart. And if one thing I can do is to tell my story so that one more person in this world understands just how important this all is and orient their beliefs and actions toward a better end, then that’s what I’m going to do.
Thanks for listening. Again.
-Rona
-Rona
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