Tuna's Hilarious Apology Letter

Hi [r],

Sorry about ruining our evening together, I appreciate you accommodating and making time to have dinner with me and I guess I ruin what could have been a great evening with my remarks about how you are actually nice now since children like you.  You are a nice person and I shoudn't have made that remark, even though I read it on a news paper article that children can distinguish and read people's vibes.  I know that you really a "children whisper" and next time shall I have a child with me, I will bring it over to you so you can comfort it and play with, in the "legal" right amount.  

On my reflection of earlier tonight, I notice that I might have made our evening slightly uncomfortable when I brought up my recent trip to the SF Armory, I realize that it is historical location in San Francisco and that you didn't know it was a porn studio.  On hindsight when I realized, you had that uncomfortable look on your face I should of stopped instead of telling you it was a BDSM porn studio.  I didn't realize that you weren't ready explore that side of human sexuality and me talking about roping people, dominating people, sex slaves and the barrels of water-base and latex-based lube didn't help the situation.  I think I might have misread the signals and thought that you were in BDSM and that is why I started to bring up the annual Folsom Street where there is free whipping and padding and other erotic art.  Please accept my deepest apologizes if this is pouring salt on the on wound and bring back memories of our evening together.  That was not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable and for you start to think watching porn and tying people up on a leash.  However, please do keep me in mind shall you want to explore that side of things.  I still have my 5 Kink points that I can share with you, no questions asked.  

[...]

Next time we have an outing, I will be sure that I read up on gender sensitivity, to keep my human sexuality explorations to myself and also not make comments that you are now "nice".  You were always nice and now you are just nicer.  I will first think about what I am about to say before saying it and keep other people feelings at bay, as they may get hurt even though they do not hear me (I apologize to male gender and next time I see a guy, I will open door for him and also after I pee, I will lift the toilet seat up).  I hope that this doesn't ruin our future outing and I am really sorry about the outcome of our evening.   

Respectfully yours,

- [tuna]

Dead Tuna