Happiness
We all have our own version of happiness. We may not always know what that is, or what it entails, but it's there somewhere. Some of us are lucky enough to capture moments of joy in our hearts from time to time. Most of us get so caught up in the pursuit of what we think it ought to be, and fail to ultimately understand what matters.
As I grow older - watching people around me starting families, I look at the ways people parent their little ones, ultimately they all want their children to be happy. I think of the way I was raised - the way my mother still treats me till this very day - trying to understand her intentions, learning what she had sacrificed and the hardships she had endured over the years - what's in it for her? The traditional Asian culture is highly driven by obligation and guilt. Parents are expected to do everything for their kids, and kids are expected to take care of their now older parents when they grow up. It's a valuable culture; but it seems a bit... blinded. It seems primitive in a sense that the only outcome of such lifestyle is the continuance of human existence. If your family had a business, you're expected to inherit and run it. Forget about your dreams, you have the obligation to repay your family for all the years they've raised you. But what about human excellence? What if you had a greater calling? What if you're no good at taking over businesses? What if you hate it? Starting a family business - a successful one - seems to provide some form of financial and social comfort for parents as they think if anything my kids would always have this. Generally, adults equate financial and social security with happiness because life would be difficult without these things. But is that ever enough?
This past Summer - I have to say - has been the best Summer I've had since 1996. It's also the first Summer I haven't had a job since then. Since I was without a job, I had to watch my spending. I stayed home a lot; ate simple food; avoided shopping whenever I could. But I had a lot of fun. I found the quietness peaceful; I learned to enjoy my alone time; I felt happier in so more ways than one. I can't not have a job forever, but I know I can live with little and feel just fine.
That picture, however, is only a one-person portrait. It's selfish. But if what you want for your children is for them to be happy, why is it so unacceptable? Happiness cannot be imposed, or supposed. We all have to find our own happiness on our own. The dilemma of Asian parents is that they feel responsible for their children's happiness, and subconsciously/consciously, they hold their children responsible for theirs.
As I grow older - watching people around me starting families, I look at the ways people parent their little ones, ultimately they all want their children to be happy. I think of the way I was raised - the way my mother still treats me till this very day - trying to understand her intentions, learning what she had sacrificed and the hardships she had endured over the years - what's in it for her? The traditional Asian culture is highly driven by obligation and guilt. Parents are expected to do everything for their kids, and kids are expected to take care of their now older parents when they grow up. It's a valuable culture; but it seems a bit... blinded. It seems primitive in a sense that the only outcome of such lifestyle is the continuance of human existence. If your family had a business, you're expected to inherit and run it. Forget about your dreams, you have the obligation to repay your family for all the years they've raised you. But what about human excellence? What if you had a greater calling? What if you're no good at taking over businesses? What if you hate it? Starting a family business - a successful one - seems to provide some form of financial and social comfort for parents as they think if anything my kids would always have this. Generally, adults equate financial and social security with happiness because life would be difficult without these things. But is that ever enough?This past Summer - I have to say - has been the best Summer I've had since 1996. It's also the first Summer I haven't had a job since then. Since I was without a job, I had to watch my spending. I stayed home a lot; ate simple food; avoided shopping whenever I could. But I had a lot of fun. I found the quietness peaceful; I learned to enjoy my alone time; I felt happier in so more ways than one. I can't not have a job forever, but I know I can live with little and feel just fine.
That picture, however, is only a one-person portrait. It's selfish. But if what you want for your children is for them to be happy, why is it so unacceptable? Happiness cannot be imposed, or supposed. We all have to find our own happiness on our own. The dilemma of Asian parents is that they feel responsible for their children's happiness, and subconsciously/consciously, they hold their children responsible for theirs.
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