Restoring Faith
It is curiously wondrous that I should have such faith in people.
Growing up, I was taught deceit, broken promises, distorted values, unlove and abandonment. I struggled with acceptance and gratitude still today. I was more jaded and cynical than most adults I knew, but I had to survive. But I've always try to see the good in people - there were only bad situations, not bad people - because deep down, there has always been a spirit in me waiting to be kindled. It could turn into a powerful flame, perhaps to light up the dark (while anxious I would burn others). That was my resilience. Perhaps refusing to accept the world as an ugly place was one non-acceptance that had kept me alive more than my false maturity and cynicism. I could only hope that this flame would turn into a cozy fire to keep loved ones warm as I grew old.
Over the past 3 years I have been seeking out material that enlightens and touches the mind, heart and soul. Of all lessons I've learned, the most important of all might be one called grace. Grace is an entire subject of its own, but how it relates here is this: Before when I come across stories like the one below, I get a little envious. Perhaps I still do. But the more I embrace grace, the more I am at peace. I watched this particular video 3 times tonight. And each time, instead of wishing harder to have had a relationship with my grandparents, I restore a bit more faith in people. There are ups and downs, you know. Especially when I had little faith in myself. But these gentle reminders of simple kindness and humanness are everywhere if one only cared to look.
Growing up, I was taught deceit, broken promises, distorted values, unlove and abandonment. I struggled with acceptance and gratitude still today. I was more jaded and cynical than most adults I knew, but I had to survive. But I've always try to see the good in people - there were only bad situations, not bad people - because deep down, there has always been a spirit in me waiting to be kindled. It could turn into a powerful flame, perhaps to light up the dark (while anxious I would burn others). That was my resilience. Perhaps refusing to accept the world as an ugly place was one non-acceptance that had kept me alive more than my false maturity and cynicism. I could only hope that this flame would turn into a cozy fire to keep loved ones warm as I grew old.
Over the past 3 years I have been seeking out material that enlightens and touches the mind, heart and soul. Of all lessons I've learned, the most important of all might be one called grace. Grace is an entire subject of its own, but how it relates here is this: Before when I come across stories like the one below, I get a little envious. Perhaps I still do. But the more I embrace grace, the more I am at peace. I watched this particular video 3 times tonight. And each time, instead of wishing harder to have had a relationship with my grandparents, I restore a bit more faith in people. There are ups and downs, you know. Especially when I had little faith in myself. But these gentle reminders of simple kindness and humanness are everywhere if one only cared to look.
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