roadkill
today i semi-witnessed a roadkill, and i felt... weak.
biscuit put on his glasses, only to see from a distance when a truck/suv-type vehicle ran over a kitty, and he said:
O.M.G.
i thought he was being funny, and was trying to scare me.
no, he looked dead serious.
my first thought was "shit, there is a giant spider on my windshield, isn't there?"
freaking out not knowing what's coming, he told me what he saw which then really freaked me out. i turned on my headlights, and saw about a block away there was a white-ish object on the ground. [we were parked outside of his house.] since i didnt see the run-over and heard nothing, i was in doubt whether that was truly the case. i thought it could be just a plastic bag since it looked quite flat in the dark. but then as soon as i turned off the headlights, we saw it somewhat moving. the thought was terrifying. we struggled for quite some time, debating whether we should go on up and check it out. i thought maybe if the animal was alive, we should take it to the animal emergency room. [we weren't sure what was it.] but then we were afraid that if it was killed, which wouldn't make a pretty scene, it would be devastating to see that before the night ends. the final decision is to go look. we could be wrong. but as it turned out.... a kitty lying dead in the middle of the street, blood coming out of its head. it didnt move. there was no sign of breathing.
i felt compelled to move it, at least to the side of the road. but all of my courage was sucked dry by the trauma. on my way home, i once again felt the fragility of life, and how oblivious we are to the idea of such fragility. i'm not afraid of death, but i do cherish life. i tried to get my mind off the dead body, but the minute my mind shifts to a lighter subject, i felt guilty i was able to smile. if cherishing life means to live it to the fullest, and be happy living it, then when is a good time to mourn? what does it mean to the dead when we mourn? when do we let go?
i need 5-HTP.
the end.
biscuit put on his glasses, only to see from a distance when a truck/suv-type vehicle ran over a kitty, and he said:
O.M.G.
i thought he was being funny, and was trying to scare me.
no, he looked dead serious.
my first thought was "shit, there is a giant spider on my windshield, isn't there?"
freaking out not knowing what's coming, he told me what he saw which then really freaked me out. i turned on my headlights, and saw about a block away there was a white-ish object on the ground. [we were parked outside of his house.] since i didnt see the run-over and heard nothing, i was in doubt whether that was truly the case. i thought it could be just a plastic bag since it looked quite flat in the dark. but then as soon as i turned off the headlights, we saw it somewhat moving. the thought was terrifying. we struggled for quite some time, debating whether we should go on up and check it out. i thought maybe if the animal was alive, we should take it to the animal emergency room. [we weren't sure what was it.] but then we were afraid that if it was killed, which wouldn't make a pretty scene, it would be devastating to see that before the night ends. the final decision is to go look. we could be wrong. but as it turned out.... a kitty lying dead in the middle of the street, blood coming out of its head. it didnt move. there was no sign of breathing.
i felt compelled to move it, at least to the side of the road. but all of my courage was sucked dry by the trauma. on my way home, i once again felt the fragility of life, and how oblivious we are to the idea of such fragility. i'm not afraid of death, but i do cherish life. i tried to get my mind off the dead body, but the minute my mind shifts to a lighter subject, i felt guilty i was able to smile. if cherishing life means to live it to the fullest, and be happy living it, then when is a good time to mourn? what does it mean to the dead when we mourn? when do we let go?
i need 5-HTP.
the end.
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