Phantom

I fell in love with a phantom.
A phantom who exists no where else but in my head.
A phantom of the past, who haunts me in my darkest dreams.
I fear, yet it is as though an obsession I can't shake off.
It's a ghost who watches every step I make,
feels every breathe I take.
It lives inside of me.
And took over my soul.

What once seemed to be the key to a brighter sky,
a home - a sanctary where I can finally have some peace of mind,
fell apart right before my eyes.
Like a sand castle, slowly blown apart by the subtle breezes without notice.
And then all of a sudden, swallowed by a sudden rave of tides,
leaving not a single trace.
My castle, the shelther that would keep me safe from harm,
the bits and pieces of it,
is now at the bottom of the sea.
Nobody knows, but what is left in my memory.
It will always be the greener pasture I cannot cross.
It was a dream. And it is all it will ever be.

A promise is nothing but a beautiful lie,
a word that couldn't find its place into my dictionary.
Rings that bind no commitment,
spoken words that held no truth.
What could be found in all emptiness?
Even if there is nothing but delirium,
at least it could generate some hope?
I feel as if I am a deserter.
Only I wish I could leave it all behind, erase all there was, and run away.
Then I wouldn't have to feel selfish about feeling alone.
And I wouldn't feel obligated,
to live.