mood swing - positivity

Lately I've been complaining a lot on how it is so fuckin' boring in San Jose. Maybe I was waiting for a life-changing experience to happen. But after a few more thoughts, I have come to the conclusion that more importantly what needs to change is me. I had plenty of life-changing experiences; heck, everybody's life changes a little by the day (e.g., getting older), it just all seems so slow that it's hard to notice. And certainly I adapt quickly to all changes, but the problem is I don't stop often enough to check where I'm at, and come to accept myself. If I change all my worse habits, get on the right track, then I believe new things will naturally come to me. You can't constantly live your life on the fast track, you'll burn out before you know it. But if you keep driving on the neverending I-5, you'll eventually get drowsy, and kill yourself behind the wheel. If I want to set my own pace, then I will have be in control of my life. Letting certain aspects of it get and stay out of hand will only further limit my choices to do and the things that I want. We have to create opportunities for ourselves; it is the driving motivation for workaholism, so people can enjoy that one paid vacation on the most exotic islands every couple of years. We expand our knowledge, capabilities and networks. We try to get somewhere with our lives, to reach a level that may afford us our ideal lifestyles. It is all very systematic. So as boring as it sounds, the power is in my own hands. Right now I need to get out of school, and get a better, satisfying job. If I stay the way I am, I'll be the only one to blame if nothing else ever happens. I've always known myself to be the biggest obstacle of my life, to be my sole enemy. I don't know how but I'm just gonna have to find a way to conquer myself. It will be like a makeover.


The Devil Wears Prada