Talents

Discover Jazz | SFJAZZ

This looks like fun.  

Trying to save money, so I won't be getting tickets for the series.  Bummer.

I've always envied those who were musically-talented.  When I was little, I wanted to learn how to play the piano or the sax; but unlike all other Asian families, my parents didn't put me through any of those boot-camp talent classes - which I wished they did.  (I also wished my mother spoke more Korean around me, so I could be quadrilingual.)  We were always moving, and money wasn't always easy to come by for extra-curriculum activities.  Nonetheless, music, arts and culture were always important to me. 

When I got into college, the punk in me wanted to take up bass guitar and drumming lessons.  Another one of those things you wanted to do, but never did, and not quite sure why except for the usual excuses of no time or money or energy or whatever loser statement fit to mask that laziness that was really the root cause of not better yourself.

Even had my own bass guitar at one point.

Sidetrack: I was listening to a Hong Kong radio segment once, and started laughing to tears when the jockey sped-read an entire menu from a Hong Kong-style cafe, featuring over a hundred items from breakfast to beverages.  He calculated how many combinations there could be if you were to order from the cafe everyday, and how many days would it take to exhaust your options.  It was really impressive.  He said the idea brought him to some sort of epiphany: if every dish or drink on that takeout menu was a form of talent or accomplishment, the cooks in the cafe ought to be recognized as one of the most talented people.  If he were to "apply himself" so-to-speak, and be determined to learn how to make each and every dish, he would have improved himself as a person by acquiring over a hundred skills.  Okay, so this might be a stretch.  Perhaps I wasn't translating the message well.  Ultimately, it boiled down to this: he asked his co-host if there was anything she had always wanted to learn about but never did, to which she answered yes, and he said, "What's stopping you?"

Really.  I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

Actions speak louder than words.  I know I can talk, but I'm not sure if I've been walking it.  I always feel that there are other more immediate, more important obligations, but I never think that perhaps the most immediate, most important obligation is one I owe to myself.

I bought a refrigerator magnet when I was visiting NYC, and it says - in colorful fonts - 

Overcome the notion that you must be regular.   

It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary.  

-Uta Hagen

I've always seen a difference between the notions of "normal" and "mediocre."  Mediocre is boring.  It is not trying.  Normality, on the other hand, I often equate with the notion of simplicity; with not trying too hard; with finding the balance in all of life's complexities; knowing when to strive for greatness, and when to simply appreciate what you've been given.  I'm happy being normal.  Now is "regular" the same word?  I don't know.  I'm not going to dive into an etymological debate (although it could be fun - I'm such a nerd).  Let's just say normal means regular.  Abnormal means irregular.  Not following norms means different means abnormal means irregular means chance to be extraordinary?  Does sticking out in a crowd mean kind of extraordinary?  Two pictures popped into mind (don't ask me why):

Napoleon Dynamite.  Duh. 

Serena van der Woodsen/Gossip Girl

Extraordinary people?

Okay, perhaps Napoleon fits into the abnormal category much more so than Serena.  Serena's probably just abnormally wealthy and spoiled.

Anyway, I'm starting to wonder if normality is mutually exclusive with being extraordinary.  I don't even know why I bought that magnet.  I think I thought I must force myself out of my shell.  Make uneasy decisions.  Be great.  Be grand.

Easier said than done.

I think I need a bit of nurturing.  I need some guidance, as well as someone to give me a little shove now and then.

Growing up, I never had it worst, but never had it easy either.  Kind of learn everything I know the hard way.  And I kind of hate it.  I've been telling people that I don't consider being tough a nice quality because if I had a choice, I'd probably opt for being a spoiled brat and live a glamorous life.  Being tough is never a choice for anyone.  It usually means you've gone through some shit, and had to live through it.  It's a condition.  Not a merit.  Although many people could have handled situations a lot worse.  But again, it circles back to conditioning.  I guess I can say I've been fortunate enough not to have made too many catastrophic decisions.  But then I probably haven't been making the wisest of decisions either.

Maybe I've always opt for the easy way out.  Whatever felt natural or safe at the time.  Having a week off from work (thanks to a doctor's note), I've been given a chance to reclaim my sanity.  More time to write.  More time to explore my mind.  I'm really trying to find out what it is that defines me, and where I want to be in life right now.

Still have yet to reach that moment of clarity.

What are my talents?  How do I develop and maximize them for goodness and greatness?  How can I change the world and rock mine?  I really hope that's not something I'll learn too late, and through the hard way.

Going back to musical talents:  I think just about the only musical talent my knack in discovering good music.  Now of course what constitutes good music is highly subjective.  But I love music, and really believe in my taste in it.  It would be great to become a music journalist of some sort, I think.  I also think I should organize a group of concert-goers.  One of the guys I work with said his new years resolution is to see more shows.  That got me really excited.  In less than 2 weeks, I got tickets to 4 upcoming shows.  I'll post details on a separate entry.  This is going to be so much fun.